Introduction to Burn out
About Inspire
Inspire Community Outreach Inc. is an incorporated non-profit social services charity providing evidence and culturally informed, family-centered education and programming, designed to meet the needs of those living with mental health issues and neurological/cognitive differences. Charity # 830697231RR0001
Our mission at Inspire Community Outreach Inc. is to support the mental health of children, youth, and families.
Our vision is the development of a community that supports children, youth and families to recognize and celebrate their strengths and potential, and that puts them in touch with resources that benefit their overall well being.
Connecting with us
Please see our website at www.inspirecommunityoutreach.ca to see how we can help, or call 204-996-1547.
Who is this made for?
This is for those caring for and/or living with neurodiversities. We see you and understand the unique challenges, as well as incredible strengths this entails. This manual is for parents and caregivers who are feeling overwhelmed and close to burn-out.
Important to know
You may learn some things below that are unfamiliar or feel hard. We understand that it is important to have compassion for ourselves, especially when looking back to times where we didn’t have the information we have today. We are all learning and won’t come to a day where we have all the answers. We all do the best that we can with what we know, and the good news is that we will have opportunities to learn throughout our lives.
Introduction to Burn Out
Defining Burn Out
Burn-out is when our bodies and minds have been experiencing chronic stress for a prolonged period of time.
There are numerous phases of burn-out that can occur in many different orders:
- Excessive drive/ambition. Common for people starting a new job or undertaking a novel task, too much ambition can lead to burnout.
- Pushing yourself to work harder. Ambition pushes you to work harder.
- Neglecting your own needs. You begin to sacrifice self-care like sleep, exercise, and eating well.
- Displacement of conflict. Instead of acknowledging that you’re pushing yourself to the max, you blame your boss, the demands of your job, or colleagues for your troubles.
- No time for nonwork-related needs. You begin to withdraw from family and friends. Social invitations to parties, movies, and dinner dates start to feel burdensome, instead of enjoyable.
- Denial. Impatience with those around you mounts. Instead of taking responsibility for your behaviors, you blame others, seeing them as incompetent, lazy, and overbearing.
- Withdrawal. You begin to withdraw from family and friends. Social invitations to parties, movies, and dinner dates start to feel burdensome, instead of enjoyable.
- Behavioral changes. Those on the road to burnout may become more aggressive and snap at loved ones for no reason.
- Depersonalization. Feeling detached from your life and your ability to control your life.
- Inner emptiness or anxiety.You may turn to thrill seeking behaviors to cope with this emotion, such as substance use, gambling, or overeating.
- Depression. Life loses its meaning and you begin to feel hopeless.
- Mental or physical collapse. This can impact your ability to cope. Mental health or medical attention may be necessary. (Fraga, 2020).
Avoiding Burn Out
What a huge job we have! Parenting a child with additional needs can be really hard sometimes.
We put ourselves last at times. We forget self care. Yup, that thing again. The thing we don’t really do…
When things are hard:
- TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Food. Water. Sleep/rest.
- Quit stuff
- Ask for help
- Caring for our relationships as a priority
Get back to Basics…
- Work to take care of yourself: rest, nutrition, and exercise.
- Self compassion:
- Be patient
- Be kind
- Take time for you
- Celebrate the achievements
- Get support – Many parents say that parent support groups are one of the best ways of getting the help they need. Search for a parent support group, or start one in your community. Bring your spouse or partner to the group. Ask at your child’s school, your local community centre or hospital, or see the Resources section in the back of this handbook.
http://www.heartsongga.com/blog/2014/7/21/self-care-for-the-caregiver
The Brain
What we know: Different brains process information differently. Being extra sensitive can make it harder to stay on task, eat the same foods, and wear the same clothes as other kids.
Sensory sensitivities- is being sensitive to noise, sound, feelings, etc. Some of us may have them too. And many of our kids have them, times a million.
Being Impulsive– acting before we think and not thinking about the consequences of our actions.
- Some people have it more and others have it less.
- It’s normal for children to have a tough time with this.
- Our Temperament has something to do with it too
- Our Neurology: ADHD/ADD
Helping a child cope with BIG feelings
- 5 steps, what to do if we’re feeling stressed?
- Feelings chart/thermometer
- Celebrate achievements no matter when
- Naming feelings- role modeling and for our children “You look frustrated” Acknowledging feelings without taking them away.
What is “calm breathing”?
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- Calm breathing is a technique that teaches your child to slow down his or her breathing when feeling stressed or anxious.
Why is calm breathing important?
- When we all feel anxious or worried, our breathing changes. It can be short, quick, or shallow and at times people can hyperventilate. Breathing this way makes us feel worse!
- Breathing Calmly can lower anxiety and gives us a sense of control. It can be anywhere with us, and our children can do it even when we are not there.
Further Reading/Resources
Mindfulness Exercises for Adults
10 Mindfulness Techniques for Everyday Life: http://www.spring.org.uk/2014/04/mindfulness-meditation-8-quick-exercises-that-easily-fit-into-your-day.php
Mindful Living Techniques:
http://plumvillage.org/mindfulness-practice/
Digital Therapeutic Mindfulness Course for Better Mental Health:
Books to Help Caregiver Burnout
Full Catastrophic Living – Jon Kabat Zinn
A Path with heart – Jack Kornfield
Peace is every step – Thich Nhat Hanh
Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames – Thich Nhat Hanh
When things fall apart: Heart advice for difficult times. – Pema Chodron
How to talk so your kids will listen & listen so kids will talk – Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
How to Build Family Resilience https://www.msd.govt.nz/about-msd-and-our-work/publications-resources/journals-and-magazines/social-policy-journal/spj20/family-resilience-and-good-child-outcomes-20-pages98-118.html
Helping Children Handle Big Emotions
http://childhood101.com/2015/03/helping-children-manage-big-emotions/
Mindfulness Information for Kids
Search: ‘www.amazon.ca › Books › Parenting & Relationships › Family Activities’
Calm Breathing Techniques:
http://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/how-teach-your-child-calm-breathing
Mindful Meditation for Children:
www.annakaharris.com/mindfulness-for-children/
Mindfulness Books for Kids
Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children – Thich Nhat Hanh
Ahn’s Anger – Gail Silver
Moody Cow Meditates – Kerry Lee Mac Lean
What does it mean to be present – Rana DiOrio
No Ordinary Apple: A Story about Eating Mindfully – Sara Marlowe
A Boy and a Bear: The Children’s Relaxation Book – Lori Lite (Ages 3-10)
Peaceful Piggy Meditation – Kerry Lee MacLean
Mindfulness Exercises for Teens
How to Teach Mindfulness to Teens:
http://leftbrainbuddha.com/teaching-mindfulness-to-teens-5-ways-get-buy/
Mindfulness Books for Teens
The Mindful Teen – Dzung X Vo
Mindfulness for Teen Depression- Mitch R Abblett and Christopher Willard
About Inspire Community Outreach
Inspire Community Outreach (Inspire) is an incorporated non-profit social services charity providing evidence and culturally informed, family-centered education and programming, designed to meet the needs of those living with mental health issues and neurological/cognitive differences.
At Inspire, we support youth and families with unique challenges, while celebrating strength. Programs are designed to meet the needs of those living with mental health issues or neurological/cognitive differences. Inspire’s support is created by the community; from children who grew up with differences, families that include children with differences, and evidence from a clinical perspective.
Compassion. Inclusion. Education.
About the Founder
Angela Taylor is our Founder and CEO. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Manitoba, with a major in Psychology and a minor in Sociology and a Post Bacc in Education, focusing on inclusion. She has her Master’s in Disability Studies from the University of Manitoba and is currently completing her PhD in complex families and wraparound care. She is a Mental Health and Accessibility Expert with an eclectic therapeutic approach that includes attachment, cognitive behaviour therapy, positive psychology and CPS model (Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) supports.