Weekends. There, I said it. Like a bad word.
I remember counting down the moments to the weekend when I was younger. Literally. Did you know Monday is only 4 sleeps until Friday? And Friday is the beginning of friends, fun, rest and relaxation.
Now?
I’m a parent. Raising 4 children has taught me (and continuously teaches me) that I know nothing. Okay, it’s obviously more than that. Kids are their own unique and beautiful humans: Personality, likes, dislikes, needs, ways of interacting with the world, and did I mention personality? We know raising children with differences or disabilities is more challenging. Welcome friend. We don’t need research to know this is true.So why are weekends so bad?
Oh let me count the ways.
- Time. There is so much time to fill.
- Interaction. I don’t mean me with the small people, I mean them together. There are 4 of them. Plus friends.
- Scheduled things. Hockey, dance, swimming, gymnastics #allthethings. Getting out of the house is hilarious. It’s so stressful to make sure everyone has pants on. Boots? That’s secondary to pants. I forgot the snacks. This is my life now. Wrestling with children to wear clothing.
- Transitions and change. One of our children has a very hard time with changing routines. Weekends in a family of 6? So dynamic. Always different. So many things we as parents can’t control.
- Meltdowns. Why is there so much crying? I’m probably not supposed to tell you we struggle with this. But, let’s be real. When we have children which are sensitive, there will meltdowns. There will be crying. Sometimes by the children.
So, how can we master the weekends?
We can’t. But, we can learn to find the peace and joy.
Let’s get creative and go through some of my favorite questions:
What do you love? What do the kids love?
I love yoga. Hey, 2 of my kids follow and copy everything I do. I’m serious. Possibilities!
Some of my kids like going out, so planning 1 outing a day is important for them.
What do we NEED to do? What can we say no to? I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something. Not because I’m fancy, but because I’m human. I can say no to grocery shopping at Costco on Sunday. Yes! Let’s say no to that. I’m making a decision to vacuum u
The kids rooms. Look how successful I am. I also need to nap. Because the week is long, and I’ve learned to store sleep like a camel.
How can we connect? To our children, partner, friends, and even pets. My baby loves tickles. Okay she’s 2, and maybe not a baby. But she LOVES tickles. And look, I accomplished something else. I added it to my list just now, so I could cross it off.
Redefine success. It’s certainly not going to look like a movie over here. BUT, all 6 of us had moments of joy and laughter. Tada! Success!
Find the joy. Even in just a moment. Notice it. Tell your kids and partner. Create it. Maybe it’s dinner after your kids are asleep? Maybe a chocolate in the pantry. Have you tried Oh Doughnuts amazing vegan apple fritter? I just gave you some of the secrets to my survival. You’re welcome.
Showing ourselves kindness when things go differently than planned. Even bad. Oh man. I hated that I yelled just then. You know self, I’m sorry that happened. That was a really hard situation. You are tired. I can see that. Let’s take a minute to breathe.
Plan things to help your whole family feel like their needs are met. Movie night? Yes please!
Take it easy and rest when we can. Taking turns for 30 minutes, or sleeping-in is not always an option, and when it is…do it! Date night? Plan it. Your marriage is important.
You know, weekends may never be what they were. But I also have access to joy I never knew existed.
What do I want in the end? The love of my family. For now and when I’m 100. How can I respond today, to help me get there?
These humans we created, are pretty fantastic. And we had a part to play in the joy and beauty of our lives. How incredible. What a great reason to feel good about who we are and where we’re going. Even on weekends.
